Day 55 - 311 Remaining- Tues 03/01/12

Today was lazy. Slept in the grass with Todd because it was too hot inside the tent. Went to another beach today and it was super nice.

The weather’s been kinda windy and i’m regretting only bring two pairs of long pants. 

I’m pretty sure ( as I’m writing this after the fact) tonight was the night todd and i had a massive fight over our futures. And it really got to me. We stayed in his  tent until 3 am talking, arguing and crying all over the one stupid “a -word” then at 3am we decided to take a walk up to the lighthouse. We have a funny fixation with that lighthouse. Every time i hold hands with him, from time to time i will squeeze his hand and he will always squeeze back. Now, to me this is the equivalent of Panic at The Disco’s song “Always” - 

“i am the light at the end of the road, blink back to let me know.”

And i’ll never ever forget walking up to that lighthouse on the top of that hill and having Todd say “i will always blink back”. I love him so incredibly much it brings me to tears to ever think we will have to be apart.  We will get through this because i believe we are meant for each other. 

But i still have my doubts on how i will ever survive here, alone.